Go Home and Wait for Baby

Doctor’s Appointment Report: Everything looks “great.” Baby looks “perfect.” I was one of those patients asking, “Are you sure my fluids are still good enough?” and “The baby’s not getting too big?” Part of me is just looking for a reason to bring this baby out (but, at the same time, if they ever said yes, I would crap my pants and change my mind)! So – all good news. I am 50% effaced but (personal info warning) my cervix is still tilted too far back for her to tell if I am dilating. It remains a mystery… (By the way, it hurts like hell for the doctor to be able to realize she cannot reach my cervix!) And…just an observation: female doctors hurt more than male doctors. I have come to this conclusion based on more than one set of doctors. Why is that??

Anyway, all is good and they sent me home to wait for baby. My mom swears that during the ultrasound, the tech said, “come on, girl” under her breath at one point. If I would have heard that, I would have freaked out (in a good way). But I didn’t. I am hoping that was a slip. But…she messes with my head every single time. I always leave that little room thinking I know what it is because of something the tech said. Suppose I still need to wait…that’s the name of the game these days.

7 days to go!!!

Getting Hospital-Ready

Today is a great day to have a baby!! Too bad it’s my brother-in-law’s sister having hers and I am STILL home, working and pregnant! L She is having her third via C-section and is hoping for a girl. I am hoping for a contraction – even a teeny-tiny one! (Remind me, by the way, when the time comes, that I was hoping for those…) I have a doctor’s appointment later on tonight and am hoping to hear that I am making some progress. But I’m not holding my breath.

Things with work have been settled as far as me going out for awhile – that is a weight off of my shoulders. My boss has been wonderfully understandable and flexible and seems he will continue to be when I have the baby. For that, I am one grateful girl.

Things with F are even looking up. We had lunch on Saturday and although it was brief (I am not so comfortable being out these days) it was very enjoyable and we were able to discuss details about the Christening we will be having with my niece Allie. I am so happy to be able to do a combined Christening…actually happy isn’t really the word. I thought that F was going to have a conflict at one point and it wouldn’t be possible and that made me cry (understanding that is not that difficult to do these days). It means the world to me and I am already so excited! The baptism will be at my church and we are having the party at a local restaurant because the manager there was so gracious and cooperative (and, plus, the food is fantastic)!

Physical status: a wreck. Nothing fits me anymore. Every day finding a shirt becomes a treasure hunt. My belly is stretched to the max and feels that way – so tight and hard and sometimes itchy. When I walk, it feels like the baby is going to fall out (I wish!) and when I sit or lay for too long, my back and hips hurt. Every morning’s shower is a one hour routine because I need to get hospital-ready clean. This means shaving, scrubbing, and moisturizing from my feet to my chin. The thought of being basically naked and fully exposed under those damned lights they lower from the ceiling horrifies me. Parts that I haven’t seen in months are going to be out there for all the world to see. Shoot me. Each night when I get changed back into the only sweats that fit me, I think “Well all of that was a waste today – the only human I saw was my mother.” But I know – I know – that the one day I don’t do my hospital-ready clean routine, I will go into labor. So an hour a day it is. Speaking of which…have to go blow dry my hair juuuuuust in case…

8 days to go!!!

Naturally Inducing Myself. Or Trying.

Happy Martin Luther King, Jr. Day. Happy Inaugeration Day. Happy 9 days til my due date Day…and nothing. No water breaking. No contractions. Well, nothing except a lack of sleep. Baby had me up from about 4 am until after 6 am. In that time, I was very anxious about labor. Then I started hoping it really is a girl. That led me to feel terrible so I Googled whether or not I am a terrible mother for hoping it’s a girl. (Turns out, I’m not. At least according to the articles I chose to read. It’s called “gender disappointment” and I am supposed to recognize and acknowledge my feelings and guilt and then know that I will get over it the moment I meet and fall in love with my baby.) At about 5 a.m., I ordered a baby tub that I am really excited about. It’s called the Blooming Bath for babies – it’s precious. Looks adorable and seems very practical for newborns. I will let you know!

Working today with the inauguration celebration on in the background. Also sneaking in some time to work on pressure points on my feet that supposedly encourage baby to drop and induce labor. That stuff I will try. The others I discussed? No thank you. I was very productive yesterday and so today I am taking it a bit easy besides work. Pray for something to happen. Preferably, something painless and quick but at this point, I will take anything.

9 days to go!!!

Update: STILL Pregnant

Current update – NOTHING. No contractions. No spotting. No cramps. Nothing. Trying not to get dejected. Yes, I know that my due date is still 12 days away. Yes, I  am aware that first time moms go an average of 8 days past their due date. I read. Intellectually, I understand all of that. But physically and emotionally, I am as ready as I will ever be. And I refuse to be one of these moms who eat 7 raw pineapples, do 100 squats, bounce on a yoga ball all day, sit over boiling water and instant coffee and (the latest) spread ice cream on their hoo-has!! (Yes, moms are doing this to induce. My favorite part is that they warn each other that it must be Neapolitan ice cream. Like your va-jay can tell the difference between that and mint chocolate chip.) I sound cranky. My apologies. It’s just that…well, I am.

12 days to go???

38 Weeks and 1 Day (Yes, that day matters)

A very warm hello from a very pregnant momma-to-be! I am 38 weeks and 1 day along as of today (and yes, my fellow moms out there will remember that that one day does count)! I am so glad I am sharing my experience with anyone reading this. Why? Maybe because I love writing and because I love sharing. Or maybe because I found myself relating to Snooki two nights ago and I want...different people to relate to? (Not kidding. An episode aired showing her 8 months pregnant and she cried that she “just [didn’t] feel good.” I thought, “Someone else gets it!” and I was so happy. Then I realized it was Snooki. Sigh.)

13 days to go...! 

New Year - I am back!

A new year – where has the time gone?! I could give all the excuses (the holidays, being way too pregnant, getting sick) but you all understand what happens – one day it’s December 18^th and the next, January 16^th. Sigh.

So the big news: I am still pregnant. 38 weeks and counting…and praying for labor pains and water breaking. I can’t believe I would ever say that – that I can’t wait for labor. But it’s time enough: I am done being pregnant, I want to meet this little mush and I can’t wait to be over the anxiety of delivery and just be able to enjoy my baby. I go to Dr. Erhart tonight and he will check me – I better have made some progress from last week (when he told me I was “thinning out.” I bet he says that to all the girls to make us feel better). But tonight I want dilation. I want effacement – I want something I can obsess about and hold on to for the next few days until my body kicks into action.

I took some “belly” photos – well, actually my younger cousin Brianna did – she does photography on the side and is hella good at it. My mom convinced me to do it, telling me I will regret it down the road if I don’t have any good pics of myself pregnant (she doesn’t have any). She sent me some sneak peeks and she really did do a nice job – anyone who can show a 9^th month pregnant woman a photo of herself that she thinks is “not terrible” is pretty talented. She’s bringing me the c.d. with them today and I am quite interested to see them all – hopefully baby appreciates them years from now. Because ain’t momma never doin this again!!

Every time I pee, I look down and part of me is hoping to see a hand sticking out or something. The waiting game is the worst – it could happen any given minute. Or I could still be pregnant almost 4 weeks from now (God, that hurt to even type….) I’ve been feeling okay physically, drained mentally. I get very easily frustrated and the not sleeping well adds to that. I don’t know how women voluntarily do this so many times – kudos to those of you who have.

I’m still working from home although it’s been slow which stresses me financially but other than that, it’s been quite lovely! My house is set, the nursery is set, my car is set…all I need is a contraction or two, an epidural, and a baby! So please, think PINK and think SOON. (Although if it’s a boy, I won. He will be Mason Daniel which I am very happy about. I just love the name.) I hope I am writing next from a hospital bed saying, “It wasn’t even that  bad…” (Ahh, a girl can dream….)

14 days to go!!! (Ahhhhh!!!)