A new year – where has the time gone?! I could give all the
excuses (the holidays, being way too pregnant, getting sick) but you all
understand what happens – one day it’s December 18th and the next,
January 16th. Sigh.
So the big news: I am still pregnant. 38 weeks and
counting…and praying for labor pains and water breaking. I can’t believe I
would ever say that – that I can’t wait for labor. But it’s time enough: I am
done being pregnant, I want to meet this little mush and I can’t wait to be
over the anxiety of delivery and just be able to enjoy my baby. I go to Dr.
Erhart tonight and he will check me – I better have made some progress from
last week (when he told me I was “thinning out.” I bet he says that to all the
girls to make us feel better). But tonight I want dilation. I want effacement –
I want something I can obsess about and hold on to for the next few days until
my body kicks into action.
I took some “belly” photos – well, actually my younger
cousin Brianna did – she does photography on the side and is hella good at it.
My mom convinced me to do it, telling me I will regret it down the road if I
don’t have any good pics of myself pregnant (she doesn’t have any). She sent me
some sneak peeks and she really did do a nice job – anyone who can show a 9th
month pregnant woman a photo of herself that she thinks is “not terrible” is
pretty talented. She’s bringing me the c.d. with them today and I am quite
interested to see them all – hopefully baby appreciates them years from now.
Because ain’t momma never doin this again!!
Every time I pee, I look down and part of me is hoping to
see a hand sticking out or something. The waiting game is the worst – it could
happen any given minute. Or I could still be pregnant almost 4 weeks from now
(God, that hurt to even type….) I’ve been feeling okay physically, drained
mentally. I get very easily frustrated and the not sleeping well adds to that.
I don’t know how women voluntarily do this so many times – kudos to those of
you who have.
I’m still working from home although it’s been slow which
stresses me financially but other than that, it’s been quite lovely! My house
is set, the nursery is set, my car is set…all I need is a contraction or two,
an epidural, and a baby! So please, think PINK and think SOON. (Although if
it’s a boy, I won. He will be Mason Daniel which I am very happy about. I just
love the name.) I hope I am writing next from a hospital bed saying, “It wasn’t
even that bad…” (Ahh, a girl can dream….)
14 days to go!!! (Ahhhhh!!!)
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