Momma's Little Mouse

And it's Thursday (already  - where did this week go?!) and Halloween - Juliette's first! If I do say so myself, she makes quite an adorable little mouse!

I will share with you what I have been learning and how I have been thinking, and living really, over the past two weeks: take every moment as it is here. Live in it. Enjoy it. Only think back when it brings a smile and only look forward when it brings hope. Other than that, there is only "right now."

It may sound very simple, cliche even. But for me, it has been working. Whenever I am with my daughter (my nine month old, oh-so-precious, yummy smelling, wrist waving daughter), it is a perfect moment. I enjoy her every smile, her pursed lips, her cries for her momma. When I am nursing her for the fourth time in the middle of the night, I make myself take note: this will not last forever. In a few years, I'd give my right arm to have these moments back. I enjoy dressing her, bathing her, changing her diaper. And when she is whining to be picked up and I am right in the middle of doing something for work and have been holding in my pee for over two hours, I still react like a normal, working mommy: I get frustrated, I wish I had a third or ninth arm, I wish I had another hour back to get more work done. But at the same time, I am saying to myself, "Enjoy this. She won't want to be picked up forever. She might stop making that babbling noise that I love so much tomorrow."

I don't allow myself to think about and dread visitation 'tomorrow' or this weekend. I stop the thoughts and remind myself that it's useless to stress over something that is not even here yet and to miss out on whatever is happening right now.  

So today was Halloween and Juliette was a mouse by 9:15 am even though I had to work and we weren't leaving the house until after 3:00. And boy, did I love up that little mouse all day. We didn't technically trick-or-treat but I showed her off to anyone who might potentially love her. When she went with her father tonight, I took that time to go see my cousin Cayden trick-or-treat, to grab a quick drink with a friend, and to shop for Sunday's dinner. I missed her every single second she wasn't with me but I thought ahead to having her home with me, where she is right now.

I love her so, my little mouse. She is truly perfect for me and I know that she will continue to be in every moment we share together. Once again, my heart is swelling. I hope that you all lived in your moments today and remember: only look back if doing so brings a smile and only look forward if it brings you hope.

Love,

Momeo and Juliette

XOXO

Girlie Stuff! Shopping! Glitter!

Am I the only mom who fashions each day's outfit for my daughter around a headband? or shoes? or tights? I truly do. These are some of the reasons I wanted (prayed for, willed, begged, and pleaded for) a girl - it is SO much fun to me. Anything that has a tutu or glitter or hearts or an accessory is something I love. Michele (the twin) is the complete opposite. My poor little niece Allie only dresses like a girl when Jay dresses her - then he pulls out all the stops! But Michele grabs the closest outfit and that's what she gets - none of the 75 headbands or 14 pair of shoes on her dresser. Just the outfit. Granted, she has three additional children to dress but they are all boys and so they should be the ones who are just dressed in anything!

I love it. I have already had two photo shoots done with Juliette and she's only 8 months old. I am already setting up a girlie cake smashing photo shoot for her first birthday! I am seriously considering just dipping her in glue and then dragging her through glitter for that occasion. (Disclaimer: please do not leave a comment telling me this is not "safe." I know that. But still.) 

But the shoes and hats and mini sunglasses and leotards and fancy-pants and butt covers - there's just TOO much cuteness! I have been very good about controlling my online shopping because there are entire websites, geared towards suckers like me, selling baby outfits for $100 that will literally be worn ONE time (and likely for only a couple of hours, if that).  But how do you resist teeny-tiny cowgirl boots? How? I can't do it. I know they will fall off of her. I know she will hate them. I know they will only "fit" for about one month. But that one Wednesday, when I decide she's going to be a cowgirl, it will make my day to reach over and grab those teeny-tiny $65 boots.

I tried her Halloween costume on yesterday (one I purchased on clearance while I was still pregnant just in case it was a girl - I knew it was a girl). She does make the cutest little ladybug. But then I sent a picture to almost everyone I know and so then I had to go out and get a new costume. She cannot be a ladybug twice! I know. It's a problem.

My Good Luck Ladybug - could you eat her up?!

If any other moms have girlie Must-Do's, please please I beg of you, share them with me in the comments!

Love,
Momeo and Juliette
XOXO

In Utero Halloween

So Baby and I survived his/her first hurricane together! I wish I could say “gracefully” but that might be a lie, or at least a slight stretching of the truth. When the power goes out, I partially lose my mind. I don’t know what it is – I get anxious immediately, I feel depressed and I just want to crawl out of my skin. Thankfully, Gram-Gram and Button (my parents next door) have a generator and their entire first floor was flooded with light, and even television, for the first night. Refuge! I slept there and survived. As of last night, around 6 pm, all of our power (and cable! and internet!) has been restored. I have been thanking the Storm Gods (and LIPA our electric company, of course)! Seriously, we are very lucky and I am extremely grateful – thousands of people have been left with much larger, more serious problems, and my thoughts are with them.

And…today marks Baby’s first in-utero Halloween and 27 weeks. I’m going as a sane pregnant lady, which is different for me. I am going to try to be calm and rational today for the first time in awhile. We’ll see if I can pull that off ;) No promises.

Got another baby-related bill in the mail today – a $375 deductible for a level 2 sonogram. I needed to have that full anatomy scan done because my twin sister’s second son, Adam – my godson, was born with a cleft lip and palate. Because it might be genetic, they wanted to screen my baby for which I was grateful. Good news, no cleft! Bad news, $375 deductible. I’m almost up to my $1000 limit – I will hit that around December 31^st, with my luck, just in time for it to re-set for my delivery! I have already explained to F that it is going to cost me $1000 to deliver at the hospital and he said he would “split it with me” but I haven’t yet asked him for any other money. It’s sort of awkward, right? A conversation I never dreamed of having as a little girl: “So, I have spent a lot of money on the baby even though I haven’t had it yet. Deductibles, co-pays, vitamins, etc…Do you think you can contribute?” See? There is no good way of saying that. I can’t be upset with him if I don’t tell him – I think he honestly doesn’t realize how much this pregnancy has affected my life and my bank account already! Between getting the house ready, buying different clothes and food for me, medical costs, etc… it really has made an impact. But it’s just not an easy conversation to bring up, especially when we have been seeing each other about once a week. At the most. So…maybe next week. Maybe the third trimester will come with some courage. As for today, back to work and then some trick-or-treating with my nephews: two ninjas and a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle (yes, they are back!).

91 days to go!!!