My Lil Co-"Sleeper" and Eater

Ey yi yi. That is what I say at approximately 12:45 a.m. each night. And then again at 2:30 a.m. And then, sometime around 5:00 a.m. These are the times my lil co-sleeper has been awakening and demanding a boob in her mouth! 

From about 8 weeks old until about 5 months old, Juliette was "sleeping through the night." It is in quotation marks because I have come to learn that means something different for different mommas. When I say it, it means that once I nursed her and put her down for the night (anywhere from 8 pm until 11 pm) she didn't wake up and require anything from me until at least 6 or 7 a.m. the next morning. Well, I'm glad I enjoyed it while it lasted.

Once she hit 5 months, she started going to bed earlier than she had been (closer to 7 p.m. a lot of nights) and so she would wake up for a feeding whenever I got into bed (around 10:30 - 11:30 p.m.). This was fairly convenient and so I didn't think twice or try to dissuade her. Sometime over the past four months, she has snuck in additional feedings throughout my sleeping hours!

Last night was as follows:

(1) Nursed both sides and in bed by 7:30 p.m.
(2) Woke and nursed one side (momma sitting up) at 10:15 p.m.
(3) Woke and nursed one side (momma lying down) at 12:30 a.m.
(4) Woke and nursed one side (momma lying down) at 3:20 a.m.
(5) Woke and nursed one side (momma lying down) at 6:00 a.m.
(6) Woke and nursed one side (momma sitting up) at 7:45 a.m.

Then, she is up for the day. She eats her breakfast of solids (a puree I make, typically a fruit or a fruit combo) at around 8:30/9:00 a.m. and then she nurses again before her morning nap (both sides for a full feeding) at around 10:45 a.m. 

She will nurse whenever she wakes from her nap (typically around 1:00 - 2:00 p.m.) and will have her lunch of purees about an hour afterwards (3:30'ish) . She will then nurse again about an hour later before her second nap for the day. That nap usually lasts about an hour (4:30  - 5:30 p.m.). I then wait a bit to nurse her until closer to 6:30 (so that it has been at least two hours since the last feeding) and then I "top her off" before she goes to bed for the night around 7:30/8:00 p.m. (depending on whether F has her - she gets home at 7:45 p.m. on those two weeknights).

So - I am still a full-time dairy cow, 24/7. My goodness. I love nursing her, I am so glad that she has been exclusively breastfed. I know it is what is best for her. I just need to remind myself of that in the wee hours of the morning ;) But how can I deny her? She is a smart cookie: she knows what she wants and what she needs. The one night I attempted to 'talk her out of" a midnight feeding, it nearly broke my heart. The next day, she woke up with her first tooth and I felt awful that she may have been uncomfortable and looking to soothe herself. So she showed me - never again! 

Speaking of which, I hear a lil babbling from the foodie right now...off I go to offer up my milk one more time. Nurse on, mommas! We got this! :)

Love,
Momeo and Juliette
XOXO

Blah... (and stay tuned)

Forgive me. I am grumpy. I had a fantastic weekend but now it is Monday night. I got a bill from my attorney in the mail today - let's just say it's a lot of money for a short time period. And we are still not done so the numbers are just going to keep going up. Of course, coming up with the money stresses me, but spending the money on that aggravates me. A lot. This is all money that should be spent on my daughter. I will say it is frustrating only because I don't have the energy to find the correct word...
To top it off, my parents went away for a week and it's just always different when I can't run next door for some adult-interaction here and there. No tea breaks with mom. No venting to dad. 
And my throat hurts.
Blah, blah, blah - Debbie Downer, I know.

Highlights of my day to cheer us all up:

Juliette giggling at me in the high chair when I have a "dance party." It's getting easier and easier to make her laugh aloud (she was a slow one with that - always had a silent-movie laugh!) and whatever makes her laugh gets repeated approximately eight hundred times.

Listening to her say "mmmmmm" as she eats her blueberries - she truly enjoys them!

Breastfeeding her tonight - she went to bed a bit early and woke about an hour ago to eat. Feeding her at night is the best - she is so hungry and gulps, gulps, gulps as if her life depends on it. Then I am reminded that her life does depend on it and I am providing it. How awesome is that?!

Having an uninterrupted day with my daughter - there truly is nothing else I can ask for. [That just helped me - I am no longer that "blah." I am smiling. And stay tuned....tomorrow I will begin the story to explain why my weekend was as awesome as it was. You won't believe this one...]

Night,
Momeo and Juliette
XOXO

Breastfeeding, Boogies and Bad News...

First (and I will likely follow this up with a more in-depth post at some point), I love breastfeeding. This has surprised me more, perhaps, than anything else about motherhood. I knew it was best for my baby. I knew I would do it.  But I didn't expect to like it. Love it, really. It sounds silly (especially, I am guessing, to those who have never done it) but I feel very proud of the fact that my daughter has been breastfed every day of her life thus far. Up until 6 months, she was exclusively breastfed - nothing else passed those lovely little lips. At six months, she started on fruits and vegetables and has since expanded into some grains and meats. But she is still breastfed like clockwork and I love it. I feel like I am doing right by her ever time I feed her. I love the bonding time; it's built-in, take-a-break-from-life-and-love-your-daughter. I don't even mind it at 11;15 p.m. right as I was on the brink of falling asleep. Or at 2 a.m. Or 4 a.m. Or 6 a.m. For some inexplicable reason, it never ever bothers me to feed her. So I just wanted to share that. Like I said, I have so much more I could say about it and so maybe another rainy day post will be dedicated solely to "the boob" as we call it around here. We shall see. But for any mothers-to-be, try it. You might fall in love with it as I have.

Secondly, boogies - oh my word, the boogies. My little angel is sicky. It's quite heartbreaking and she's not even that bad. God help me if she ever legitimately gets sick. Since yesterday, she has had rosy cheeks and a red bum. She has also been leaking from every single hole in her face. A lot. And yet another cliche is true: "it's amazing what doesn't bother you as a mother." I will wipe those boogers and those runny eyes and that drool with my hand and then immediately use it to wipe my own face. Or to finish my apple. Because those are my boogers and tears and drool. I made all of that. It's not gross, it's cute. The night before last, one of us had an accident in our bed. I won't say which one out of fear of embarrassing someone, but someone peed a bit too much and the sheets were wet at 2:34 a.m. Awesome. Out of bed we were. Changed baby. Cleaned baby. Threw down a blanket over the new definition of a "wet spot" in bed, stuck a boob in a mouth and back to sleep we went. So obviously the first thing I did yesterday morning was strip the bed, wash and dry the sheets, and re-make the bed. (Although, maybe that's not so obvious if you're still grossed out that all I did at 2:34 a.m. was throw a blanket down on top of it. Survival.) Well, I woke up this morning and it looks like all Juliette did the entire time I was sleeping was blow her nose on as many square inches of our sheets as she could possibly reach. So the washing machine and I reunite. It's quite a lot of work having a baby. (But shhh! I wouldn't trade it for the world!)

Lastly, the bad news. F and I were so close to coming to a visitation agreement over the past few days. We had been going back and forth over email with proposals and counter-proposals and counter-counter-proposals. Then today I explained  - again - that there were some things I am just not going to voluntarily agree to. Ever. He said he wouldn't either and so we were frozen. He then asked me to switch his visitation time this Thursday and a weekend date next month. I told him that I would be happy to do my best to accommodate him with that if he would agree to this. Well, that is all it took to set him off. I received some nasty text messages, one of which attacked me as a mother. (Really? Ugh. When do men grow up? He is 31 years old. I am the mother of his child. A damn good mother, which he knows, and it's the first place he goes when he's stomping his feet and crossing his arms. So disrespectful.) Anyway, I am fairly confident that the same person attacking me as a mother wants to cancel his regular time with his daughter because of a football game. I wish these men were forced to grow up as much as them women are when they become pregnant; their lives don't change. Yet they still want all the benefits, all the "pro"s of becoming a parent. It really frustrates me despite how much I try to blow it off. So - back to court we go tomorrow. It's our last conference (i.e., another opportunity for the judge to chastise us, tell us to grow up, talk it out, and come to an agreement because we don't belong in Family Court) before our set trial date. I am not giving in this time. I'm just not. I have to follow my gut and do what I think is best and if other people around me think that makes me "difficult" or "a bitch," I just cannot care. I am crossing everything that a miracle will occur and someone will grow up a bit tonight as he sleeps and be willing to agree with me tomorrow. If not, well...I am sure you will hear about it here.

Love,
Momeo and Juliette
XOXO

Breastfeeding Class

So – breastfeeding. Another completely “natural” thing that every woman talks up. (I hope this feels much more “natural” than my entire pregnancy has!) I attended a class at my OB/GYN’s office with a woman named Julie Ocon. She came highly recommended from the nurse that I took my birthing/Lamaze class with (and whom I loved). They are both nurses at St. Charles hospital in Port Jefferson where I will be delivering my little bundle. So far, everyone there has been fantastic and I think I am going to have a great experience. (It is also the hospital where I was born which is pretty damn cool!)

Anyway, there was only one other pregnant girl at the class besides myself. I say “girl” because she seemed a bit young to me – probably early twenties. Very early. She was also in my Lamaze class. It was great – one instructor, two pregnant women (and a friend of the younger girl who came for “moral support.”) Some of the class was a bit introductory for me as I feel like I have been around breastfeeding for most of my life. I have three younger siblings, innumerable younger cousins and now four nieces/nephews who were breastfed. But Julie then explained all of the positions you can hold the baby in and how to correctly latch (the entire areola, ladies, until they look like they are suffocating – not just the nipple!) and it made me feel… calm. Calm is a feeling that I go for – it is always better than the state I started in and brings me instant peace. Therefore, I loved Julie.

Some concerns: (1) the younger pregnant woman was reading the handouts and whispers to her friend, “Oh, awesome. I can’t get pregnant while I am breastfeeding.” The friend says, “Oh really? Cool.” Instant moral dilemma: do I butt out and mind my own business or do I warn her that this is not entirely accurate and save an unplanned, impending pregnancy? I took too long to work this out and the moment passed. She might be back in Lamaze in about 11 months. (2) Julie tells us we should not be actively dieting while we are breastfeeding and instead should take in an extra 200-300 calories daily. Younger pregnant woman says, “So I shouldn’t be eating healthy when I breastfeed?” Julie paused, but to her credit didn’t slap her, and said, “You should be eating healthy, just as you do during your pregnancy, but you should not be actively trying to lose weight.” Pregnant girl, “I don’t think I understand the difference.”

Sigh. I know it may sound mean, but these things make me feel so much better about becoming a mom. I can do this. I completely understand that I can get pregnant while breastfeeding and I also can tell you the difference, quite specifically, between eating healthy and actively dieting. So my baby and I are already a step up the way I see it. Right?

71 days to go!!!