Sneak Peek!

I’m still smiling from last night. I think the Baby Gods knew that I needed a peek at my baby yesterday. He/she (she) LOOKS like a REAL baby now! (I know, that probably sounds terrible, as if it hasn’t. But…it hasn’t!!! It looked like a lima bean, then a skeleton, then an alien. But now, he/she (she) looks like a BABY!!)

Speaking of babies….I’m a huge one when it comes to doctors. My entire life, I have passed out when I go to the doctor (dentist, pediatrician, physician, gynecologist, you name it). This pregnancy has toughened me up a bit, which I would have bet against seven months ago. But it’s amazing what you do when you have to do it. I’m still, however, not 100% “normal” about going. Even last night I was nervous – my stomach was in knots and I felt like I had to go to the bathroom (another physical reaction my body has to stress). I didn’t know how long the sonogram would be and what exactly the monitoring would be like and so I was stressed. My mom met me there which was good because she serves as a distraction while I wait. I despise waiting – it gives my mind time to completely freak out my body. I hate it. Anyway – the sonogram was awesome. I got to see Baby with its finger in its mouth, holding its foot in its mouth with its hand (!!intelligent, right??) and moving all around. We saw the hair on the back of the head already (quite the shock as I didn’t have hair until I was almost four! My mom taped bows onto my head!). It was great. The face has filled out and it looks like…my baby!!! Oh, and everything they checked for last night was perfect: my fluid levels, the umbilical cord, the blood flow, etc… Of course, that’s the most important stuff but the cutest and most exciting stuff was seeing the baby (and getting more pictures to take home)!

After the sonogram, they weighed me. Again. Ugh. I weighed 133 lbs which, I think, was the same as last time. Maybe I’m deluding myself. But either way, it’s a neat 25 lb weight gain since the pregnancy. If it doesn’t go up much more, I’ll be content with that. Blood pressure was great. Then, time for the monitoring. I sat on the exam table with two pillows propped up behind me. They found the baby’s heart (from the sonographer) and put a round monitoring piece on it and strapped it to me (with that gucky sonogram gel underneath it) to measure the baby’s heartbeat. Then they strapped another monitoring piece where the top of my uterus is to measure my contractions. Here’s the best part: the nurse then hands me this little buzzer and says, “Press this every time the baby moves.” I looked at her like she couldn’t be serious. “Every time?” “Yes, every time. I will be back in five minutes (LIE: a minimum of 15 minutes) to check on you.” My baby moves every second. Especially at night. I am not exaggerating. It’s a gymnast in there. It kicks and jabs and flips and tumbles and rolls. I was pushing that button every three seconds – and the machine would beep. I told my mom I am going to get one of those buzzers from the game Taboo and I’m going to do this at home. I’m going to press it and buzz every time the baby moves so no one else in my life can ignore it!! I certainly can’t! I finally told my mother that I was pressing it every other time because it was getting ridiculous. I had pressed it over 40 times in less than 5 minutes. Seriously. I guess other baby’s don’t move as much???

Turns out that everything there was perfect too – “perfect readout” the nurse practitioner told me. Good contractions (I knew that was what I was feeling!), good heartrate, and great movement (great for them, not for the inside of my uterus). My liver enzyme number went from a 12 to a 13. I said, “Shit! It went up!” but the NP said, “I consider 12 and 13 to be the same level with this. It’s just fine.” That made me feel better. I will continue to go for these weekly sonograms and NSTs and we will keep a close eye on Baby. I go for more blood work in three weeks to check on my number again (think LOW) and hopefully I can sneak by, week by week, until this baby comes naturally and I won’t need to be induced! Fingers and toes crossed!

I was smiling when I left, when I went to Michele and Jay’s to show them the pictures, when I got home and even now, today. I am getting really excited. So…I know I promised more updates about F, but no negativity or stress today. Only happy, real-baby-looking thoughts today. I’m going to be a mom soon!

48 days to go!!!

Third Trimester AND Obama Victory!

Oh happy day!! Are you ready for all of this fantastic news?? (1) Today begins my third trimester. Finally!!! (2) I only gained (drum roll please….) 1.8 pounds since my last appointment. I patted myself on the back. (And I had on a lot of jewelry that probably tipped the scales) ;) (3) The baby’s heart rate was “high 160s” and I choose to believe the old wives’ tale that a high heart rate signifies…my GIRL! (4) I completed my glucose screening without throwing up or passing out – both victories for me. I am a baby. (Fine. For full disclosure purposes, I will also tell you my mom was there to hold my hand during the blood draw. Literally. But still – I made it.) (5) And speaking of victories… the President I have a crush on is still President. Besides the God-awful Nor’easter happening outside, this is close to the perfect day! (And before you roll your eyes at me, there are many more intellectual and critical reasons I support our President than my having a crush on him, but that trumps all of them right now. Especially since I am sleep-deprived after waiting up to hear him speak last night.)

Yesterday was my mother’s birthday and so we had dinner altogether at Michele (the twin I am jealous of because she’s likely giving birth within a week or so) and Jay’s house. I stopped and picked up the family’s favorite “chocolate sprinkle cake” from Tilda’s in Rocky Point. Baby and I could have eaten the whole cake ourselves but I had to share. I wasn’t feeling well last night (ugh – pregnancy-related stomach issues. Again.) so I made an early escape, went home, put on sweats and my heating pad (my lower back has been killing me) and switched from election results to my DVR’d shows. Baby was extremely active last night and it was actually quite nice. I could enjoy it on the couch. I explained the voting process to my belly (yes, I am a dork) and relished in the few hours I was actually enjoying my pregnancy. It does happen occasionally.

And speaking of enjoyment…I purchased for myself a pregnancy massage this morning from Amazon Local. It was a deal I couldn’t turn down – a one-hour pregnancy massage for $29 at Exhale Medical Massage at Stonybrook! I have never been but my back pain convinced me to try it out. I will be sure to let you all know when I make my appointment – don’t be too jealous. It’s my congratulatory gift to myself for making it to the third trimester – I think I deserve it!

84 days to go!!!

First Permanent Thing (Gulp!)

I don’t know if I’m ready… today I find out how much weight I have gained since my last OB appointment (cringe). I have been thin all my life (well, except with the “freshman 15” I put on my first two semesters at BU – those Raman noodles were cheap and easy to make, in my defense). My weight has probably fluctuated about three pounds since I am 19 years old. That is, until my last OB appointment. My starting weight at the doctor had been 108. I first gained just under 3 pounds and it was suggested I put on more before the next visit. I then added around five pounds. The total of eight didn’t bother me – it actually made me feel proud, as if I was doing what I was supposed to. But then….the last appointment happened.

I stepped on the scale* (a different one than they had used for every previous appointment, in case that comes into play) and the nurse kept sliding that metal bar over further and further to the right. One hundred and twenty-six pounds. I stared at it. She walked away to write it on my chart. I mumbled, “Um, excuse me – how much did I gain since my last appointment four weeks ago?” “Ten pounds.” Gulp. “That’s a lot. Right? That’s a lot?” “Yes. That’s a lot.” Then she walked out of the room. I was still standing on the scale. The doctor alleged that this was fine, totally normal. But he then explained that I could cut back on salt and fruit juices, etc… So clearly he agreed this was a lot. (Right??) That was 19 days ago and I go back tonight. I am scared. I have been eating a lot of ice cream. And hot chocolate. With sea salt.

It’s not that I don’t intellectually and rationally understand that I need to gain weight in order to have a baby. I guess it’s more the fear of what will happen afterwards. If I was assured that it would all come off and I would go back to looking and feeling the way I did pre-pregnancy, then I truly wouldn’t care if I were a beached whale until I delivered. But I don’t know and I cannot be assured that it won’t stick! Plus, walking by a full-length mirror naked right now jars me every single time. I have a little booty! I have never had a booty. My mother said it’s to balance out my belly and boobs – I laughed but I suppose she is correct.

My brother-in-law said something to me last night that I blew off because my brain was too tired to properly analyze it, but it’s stuck with me. He said he was thinking about me and the baby and he realized that this is the first permanent thing I will ever really do in my life. Besides purchasing my house seven months ago, he’s correct. I have always been able to (and have taken advantage of the fact that I am able to) change my mind – in careers, relationships, homes, etc… I have never allowed myself to become pinned down anywhere or with anyone. Even the puppy I got when I lived and worked in Manhattan wasn’t permanent. I intended it to be, of course, but worked such long hours at the law firm that she was alone all the time and I felt guilty so my aunt took her. I didn't even stick with the puppy.

Once this baby comes, there is no turning back. There is no more picking up and moving. There is no trading the baby in for a new baby. And my aunt certainly won’t take the baby from me, as she took my puppy, if it becomes too much (I asked her, just in case) ;) I got slightly scared thinking of this, but then I felt my resolve. I literally felt it – my back gets straighter and I find myself thinking, “Yes. This baby IS the first and most permanent thing in my life. And it’s perfect. I wouldn’t have it any other way. Baby and I are going to be just fine.” (Right?) Baby and I are now off to vote for our President…

85 days to go!!!