Hurricane Sandy!

Baby’s first hurricane is officially in progress – I am staring out my front window (which faces the beach) as I type this. Thankfully, I am elevated over bluffs and the boardwalk otherwise it would be scarier than it sounds. The winds are crazy but I still have power (pleasepleaseplease stay on, power!!) and I am happy to be trapped inside with just Baby and me! I wish there was something baby-related I could do, but I haven’t had a baby shower yet so there are no clothes to wash and fold, nothing to put together and nothing to organize. Boo. I know when the time comes to do all of that, I probably won’t want to, but today I would love to. Oh irony.

Instead, I am working. As much and as quickly as possible in case I lose power. I work for a mid-size law firm but work from home full time as the office is in NYC, a good two-hour commute for me. I have been with them for over a year now and it’s good work. I get the perk of staying home, which gives me flexibility, but I still work about 50 hours a week (closer to 60 pre-pregnancy, closer to 35 in the first trimester!). I will likely take a few solid weeks off after I have the baby but then try to work my way back up to as many hours as possible, as quickly as possible. That’s the plan anyway but you know what they say about plans…

So I told you about the conversation with my sister’s friend who cried over my baby gender issues. It apparently bothered me enough that it is all I think about when I go to bed at night and all I dream about when I finally fall asleep. I woke up wondering if maybe I should ask the doctor the gender at my next appointment. I still wouldn’t want to tell anyone because I want that climax, that surprise, the day of.  But what if I do need some adjustment time? Honestly, my biggest fear is that he says, “It’s a boy” and then I don’t even have the hope left. Not even the chance. If it were a girl, I would be happy to know early of course. But I’m not sure if knowing earlier that it’s a boy would help me or not. Sigh. Someone tell me what to do.

No texts or calls from F today. He must still be pissed with my inadequate responses from yesterday. This partially upsets me (so don’t think I am cold-hearted and unemotional) but it also exhausts me. I feel like there’s always something and I am at the point in my life where I just want things to be easy around me. That’s all.

Wish Baby and I luck with Hurricane Sandy – pray our power stays on and I don’t eat enough for another ten-pound weight gain at my next appointment.

93 days to go!!!