Drained...But Trying

I am mentally exhausted after today. Court was fine (in the sense that not much happened and we were out of there fairly quickly). The upside is that I didn't have to pay my attorney quite a million dollars for today and I got back to my baby very fast. Downside was that F tried to come over and talk to me as if he hadn't completely disrespected me yesterday by texting me a personal attack about me as a mother. So I calmly told him I was not speaking with him. He had an adult temper tantrum (if there is such a thing) in the middle of the courthouse - shaking his head, huffing and puffing. He even took out a pen, clicked it open angrily and wrote down, I am sure, our exchange. (Although I would bet my life he left out the first part of my response which was, "You attacked me as a mother and so I have nothing to say to you right now.") He then held up the notebook to show his attorney and, for all intents and purposes, tell on me. This is who I am dealing with. A thirty-one year old "man" who says disrespectful things, accepts no responsibility for them, and then has a temper tantrum when he doesn't like the repercussions. It's exhausting. But now we move on. 

We have until our next court date (approximately three weeks) to get an agreement signed. If we do, we don't even have to appear in court again. If we don't, we begin a trial. I am done negotiating with him, however. I am not giving in and so if he doesn't want to agree and sign, then we will go to trial. At least then I can sleep at night and know that I did everything in my power to do what I feel is best for my daughter. So that's that. For today.

He also has her tomorrow morning for two hours. He is supposed to have her tomorrow night for two and a half hours but he needed to change (for a football game, I am sure. Priorities, priorities). I still hate it every single time. And that explains why this post sucks. :( Today sucked and I am dreading those two hours tomorrow. But then I have the rest of the day and all day Friday with my little girl, uninterrupted. I suppose I need to get used to this but the thought of doing so overwhelms me and so I have to take it day by day. And I have to remind myself that there are parents with children who are not healthy and would likely sell their souls to trade spots with me and "only" have to share a perfectly healthy child. I try to think about that when I start losing it. 

Is it tomorrow at 11:30 am yet????

Love,
Momeo and Juliette
XOXO