...And so it's a rainy day which calls for a "rainy day" post. I tried to be so diligent throughout my pregnancy about recording everything and writing often. But then the baby came and we all see how that went! Now that she's here and we are 'settled' into our routines and life, I will occasionally write a "rainy day" post that is either rewinding, fast-forwarding or just going off the track of my daily life. Today, my labor story!
I had a scheduled doctor's appointment with my OB on my birthday (the 5th anniversary of my 29th birthday), which happened to be the day before my due date. My numbers for my cholistasis (liver enzymes) had been improved so I wasn't going to "have to" be induced. I was going for my "regular" check-up, sonogram, and NST (non-stress test or fetal testing). I had not been having a great day because I wasn't feeling well. (Are you ever feeling well 9 months pregnant? Debatable.) I asked my mom to come to the dr with me so that I had some company and a distraction. My doctor's office is about 16 minutes from my house, door-to-door, and I had to stop at my sister's to use her bathroom on the way! I was extremely frustrated with the fact that I couldn't even drive 16 minutes somewhere without a hassle.
I went in for the sono first, as always, and Roe, the same tech I had every single time, was reminded that the gender was a surprise (I was always nervous, and partially convinced, that she slips up somehow every time and gives me a hint. The problem was I would leave one sono convinced it was a boy and the next, that it was my girl). During the sono, she took the measurements and then stopped and was writing on my chart. I said immediately, "is everything alright?!" It's scary when they stop talking and start really focusing on something - patients assume that something is wrong (right, don't all patients do that? Well, this one does). She assured me everything was just fine. Then, I went and did the NST - perfect as always. And then (gulp) had the doctor do my internal. She then left the room to let me get dressed and said she'd be back to speak with me. I assumed this was because my due date was the next day and she just needed to give me more information.. WRONG.
Enter doctor. "So...because we haven't seen any growth in the baby since last week, I'm going to send you to the hospital to have you induced." I sit there and stare at her. I think my mother said "Ok. When?" Doctor: "Tonight." I then chose to speak. "No." And I started crying. Face-in-hands crying. She explained that she couldn't, in good conscience, ignore my "numbers" and that she didn't want to let the baby go another week if it was no longer growing, blah, blah, blah. I continued crying. I am sure I apologized at least half a dozen times but I said "I'm just not ready."
I know, I know. When would I be ready? It was five hours before my due date. And I thought I was ready. After peeing at my sister's, I likely mumbled, as I did about ten times a day, "When am I going to have this baby already??!!" But then when I was told I had to go in that night - now - I was not ready. The doctor tried to calm me down and reassure me. I actually told her no, I was not going. She said her compromise would be to have me come back to her office the next day, measure again and then go to the hospital if nothing had changed (she said nothing will have changed). I agreed because it delayed everything - put it all on pause - so that I could take it in, absorb it, understand it, come to terms with it.
My mom drove to Michele's (it was her birthday too remember and we were supposed to have cake with her kids and all of my siblings after my appointment) and I cried. She was trying to convince me to just go in that night - it was already about 7:30 pm, I could just get in and get started! I was emphatic - no, no, no. I needed to just go home. Sleep in my bed. Think. Not think. I didn't really know what I needed but I knew it wasn't an induction.
When I walked into Michele's, she said, "Well? Any developments?" I started crying. (It's the hormones people!) and my mother explained. Michele was incredulous. Remember, this is a girl that enjoys giving birth. "Why aren't you going right now?! You NEED to go tonight! Oh my God, I would be so excited!! Please, please, please go tonight!! It's perfect!" She then went to her master-calendar on the wall and started rambling off things like, "My in-laws can watch the boys all day tomorrow, Jay is off, if you go tonight, you'll have the baby tomorrow and come home on Saturday..." All of the reasons I should do it. I started doubting my decision. She told me if I went home, I would never sleep anyway. And then I would have to go to the doctor in the morning and then be at the hospital all day. It was already going on 8 p.m., I could sleep there, etc... Then, the nail in the coffin - she called her best friend whose mother is a labor and delivery nurse. She taught my birthing class and I really wanted her to be on duty when I went into labor so she could be my nurse. She knew me and knew that I was a nervous wreck. Her mother would be working at 6 a.m. the next day but then she was off for three days. If I went that night, she would likely be my nurse when I delivered. If I waited, there was zero chance of it. I caved. I mumbled, "Fine" and I swear someone pushed me out into my car before I could change my mind. Next thing I knew, I was running into my house to grab my packed bag and my mother was driving me to the hospital. I called my doctor to make sure it was okay and she said she would meet me there to give me Cervidil. If I could have jumped out of the moving car without killing myself and the baby, I would have.
At about 9:00 p.m. I was checked into the hospital and in a bed on the Labor and Delivery floor.I was not a very happy or calm person. I was beyond scared. The plan was to put the Cervidil in around 10 p.m. and leave it until 10 a.m. I would then be checked and given Pitocin if necessary (that was the one thing I prayed for all pregnancy long - please, Lord, don't make me need Pitocin). So, at 10 p.m., my nurse inserted the Cervidil ("inserted" sounds so much better than jammed in with what I swear were red-hot metal rods) and I was told to close my eyes and get some sleep. Yeh, ok.
To be continued....
Momeo and Juliette
XOXO
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