A rough night but better morning. Last night, around 9:30, I
started thinking too much. I can’t
believe work has been so slow. My paycheck is going to be awful next week. How
am I going to pay all of my bills? That conversation with F about the
cholistasis was beyond frustrating. Why can’t we just make things work? This is
not how I envisioned my relationship with the father of my child. What if my
baby really is in danger inside of me? The internet said cholistasis can cause
still births. I do NOT want an induction. Please, God, no induction. And
so, I went to bed. I called it a night. I am actually proud that I chose that
option, as opposed to sitting up and thinking, getting myself worked up. (And no - all of those thoughts is not considered "worked up" to me.) Because this morning is already better.
I made a trip to Michael’s to buy things for my Christmas
mason jar project – what beautiful holiday things they had! I spent close to
$100 that I shouldn’t have (and no, not all of it will fit in mason jars), but
it was all so pretty and I know that having my house decorated is going to make
me so happy! And that’s good for Baby, right??!! It’s all about the baby ;) So
later today and tonight, I will begin the decorating. I am heading out to
Walmart shortly to buy things to bake some cookies as well – may as well go all
the way. A regular Christmas-versioned Martha Stewart. But when work is slow, I
may as well take advantage instead of sitting at my laptop all day, staring at my
email, willing work to come in. That’s sort of pointless.
So a happy face it is today. Decorations, cookies, holidays
– all good things to focus on in this crazy, crazy life. At least until I find
out, officially, if I won the Power Ball last night. Then I may re-focus. :)
62 days to go (or 41…..)
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