I did not purchase
the watch. (Applause accepted). I need a bit more time to strategize about my
holiday gift-giving and even if I do decide to buy for all siblings, then I
shouldn’t spend as much as the watch was going to cost. So – for now – settled.
Baby agrees – I asked, he/she kicked.
I just realized as I sat down to write this (because sitting
down – well, really any switching of positions – takes a lot of physical
adjustment these days) that my underwear are on inside out. I felt the tag and
when I went to fix it, I discovered my error. I could have cried. I have on skinny jeans and boots. You women who have
been pregnant can probably appreciate the effort that took me this morning and
the thought of taking it all off so that I
can right-side-out my underwear was enough to bring me to tears. So another
command decision – I am not fixing it. Today, my underwear will be inside out
and anyone who doesn’t like that can kiss my inside-out butt. (Now I have to
pray all day that I don’t get into a car accident or go into early labor or
have any other reason for medical personnel to have to cut my pants off. I’d
die of embarrassment alone.)
So with some very trivial points out of the way, I am
sitting here writing but, honestly, am a bit distracted today. I am waiting for
my nephew, Adam, to arrive any minute. He’s five years old and has the BEST
personality in the world. He was born with a cleft lip and palate. Talk about
earth shattering news – my sister and brother-in-law were told at her 20-week
sonogram that the baby had this cleft and it felt as if our world stopped
spinning. I quickly became an expert on babies with clefts – I read everything there was to read about it
online. When I ran out of online material, I bought books and read those. I
joined online chat and support groups. This was very new to our family and we
wanted to be prepared. When this little guy arrived I was in the delivery room.
Michele asked me to go in with her and Jay and although I am the biggest baby
you will ever (ever) meet, I could not say no because I knew she wanted me
there to reassure her that he was adorable and would be loved by all. I was
scared out of my damn mind. Then, he came out. I could have died – my little
“Squishy” I started calling him. He was (and I am not just being biased) THE
cutest newborn baby you ever did see. He was perfect and then he had this small
little opening between his nostril and his mouth on one side of his nose. I
remember staring at that hole – the cleft – and thinking, “this is what all the fuss has been about?!” He was running his
tongue in and out of the cleft and I thought, immediately, that it was the
cutest thing I have ever seen and that he, of course, was a genius. Not in the
least bit subjective.
Fast forward five years and the little guy has undergone
numerous surgeries, cosmetic and medical, to correct the cleft. If you saw him
on a playground today, or even years ago, you’d never know. His doctors at NYU
were the best (because of course that was part of the insane amount of research
and preparing done by Michele and Jay) and this guy is such a fighter. A happy,
loud, carefree, honest little boy. Today he is back at his dentist – Dr.
Campizi, the best pediatric dentist in the area – getting a palate expander put
in. It will connect to an outer piece of headwear that Adam will need to wear
every minute of every day (except for when he’s at school) for the next 6-8
months. I don’t know how he’s going to take it. He’s old enough to not
cooperate and to voice his dislike and discomfort but he’s also too young to
really rationalize with if he doesn’t do well with it. My heart aches for him.
I swear I would wear the damn thing twice as long if I could do it for him.
He’s been through so much and he’s so positive and so happy…this is just
another obstacle for him to overcome. He called me about an hour ago from the
waiting room. “Hi Aunt Bissy – I’m here waiting!” I told him to be brave and he
told me he is getting the “magic air” again (sweet air) and he actually sounded
excited. I hope he does well. So, as I write this, I am staring out my front
window waiting for them to get here so I can see him and hug him. I hope it
goes well for so many reasons. Michele is due with her fourth baby in 16 days
and if Adam gets upset, she might just break down and lose it (which happens much less frequently with her as it does
with me). Fingers crossed my little Squishy takes this well.
If I love my nephews this much, how much am I going to love
my own baby? Hard to fathom.
82 days to go!!!
No comments:
Post a Comment